The Grib

Alright, so since she will likely be a frequent topic of discussion...or...monologue on this blog, I thought I should give a bit of background on Gribletron in order to give a proper context to my incessant griping. Now. I will be perfectly honest in saying that parts of this may make me look like a completely insensitive douchebag, but I promise, anyone that works with Grib understands my plight.

First off: her mannerisms. The first three minutes of the video below is only a slight exaggeration from the real thing.




I know how funny this looks from the outside. In fact the Lorraine skits were probably my favorite on MadTV back in the day. I did not know, however, that I would be working with her real-life counterpart several years later. The Grib really does make that coughing noise. She really does make that extremely annoying "HUH" sound. She really does talk over you without letting you finish what you're saying. She really does investigate things thoroughly before paying for them even at a extremely nominal value. She really does wear ridiculous outfits like that. I wouldn't put it past her to pay for something in $13.50 in nickels.

Now, unfortunately, Grib has been on chemo therapy since December. I really do feel bad that she has to go through that. Nobody should have to endure that kind of stuff, however, I do not like hearing all the gory details about it. At any given time, I can probably tell you the current status of her bowels. Why? Because she tells anybody and everybody that engages in a conversation with her. It's usually about the third thing she says. In fact, I once heard the word "diarrhea" twice in the span of the first 10 seconds I came in contact with her for the day. Not only do I hear about this, I hear about it somewhere around 4-5 times a day. Why? Because she makes about that many PERSONAL phone calls at work. Which brings us to the next issue.

Her many, lengthy, and varied personal phone calls on the government monitored work phone. In the 8 months I have worked with her, she has called either the insurance company or medical billing company at least 10 times. She once called to cancel a magazine subscription that she allegedly did not sign up for and practically yelled at the person...at work...with lots of people still there. She once called Verizon to cancel the texting service on her phone because her phone is 8 years old and cannot receive texts. Because all customer service reps are salespeople too, she spent about the next hour and a half discussing different cell phones (free ones only) with this poor person even though she had absolutely NO plan to buy a phone at that point in time. And then there was my favorite phone call when she literally screamed at her mother over the phone about how she doesn't like being constipated.

This is actually just the tip of the iceberg. I'm quite certain I will have many rants about her here, and now you know the basic gist of The Grib.