The Grib

Alright, so since she will likely be a frequent topic of discussion...or...monologue on this blog, I thought I should give a bit of background on Gribletron in order to give a proper context to my incessant griping. Now. I will be perfectly honest in saying that parts of this may make me look like a completely insensitive douchebag, but I promise, anyone that works with Grib understands my plight.

First off: her mannerisms. The first three minutes of the video below is only a slight exaggeration from the real thing.




I know how funny this looks from the outside. In fact the Lorraine skits were probably my favorite on MadTV back in the day. I did not know, however, that I would be working with her real-life counterpart several years later. The Grib really does make that coughing noise. She really does make that extremely annoying "HUH" sound. She really does talk over you without letting you finish what you're saying. She really does investigate things thoroughly before paying for them even at a extremely nominal value. She really does wear ridiculous outfits like that. I wouldn't put it past her to pay for something in $13.50 in nickels.

Now, unfortunately, Grib has been on chemo therapy since December. I really do feel bad that she has to go through that. Nobody should have to endure that kind of stuff, however, I do not like hearing all the gory details about it. At any given time, I can probably tell you the current status of her bowels. Why? Because she tells anybody and everybody that engages in a conversation with her. It's usually about the third thing she says. In fact, I once heard the word "diarrhea" twice in the span of the first 10 seconds I came in contact with her for the day. Not only do I hear about this, I hear about it somewhere around 4-5 times a day. Why? Because she makes about that many PERSONAL phone calls at work. Which brings us to the next issue.

Her many, lengthy, and varied personal phone calls on the government monitored work phone. In the 8 months I have worked with her, she has called either the insurance company or medical billing company at least 10 times. She once called to cancel a magazine subscription that she allegedly did not sign up for and practically yelled at the person...at work...with lots of people still there. She once called Verizon to cancel the texting service on her phone because her phone is 8 years old and cannot receive texts. Because all customer service reps are salespeople too, she spent about the next hour and a half discussing different cell phones (free ones only) with this poor person even though she had absolutely NO plan to buy a phone at that point in time. And then there was my favorite phone call when she literally screamed at her mother over the phone about how she doesn't like being constipated.

This is actually just the tip of the iceberg. I'm quite certain I will have many rants about her here, and now you know the basic gist of The Grib.

Methods of Coping

Given the rather stressful nature of dealing with someone who's personality clashes with mine with the weight of a 10 car pile-up, I've had to find ways of continuing to earn my paycheck without going postal...sorta. My two favorite ways of dealing are music and guns.

The music aspect comes in the form of listening to my "Bad Day" playlist on repeat for the entire 8 1/2 hours I'm in my cell. The playlist includes Alvin & The Chimpunks, Single Ladies, various songs from the Chuck soundtrack, songs from my wedding, 90s songs, 80s songs, Disney songs, Hanson, Huey Lewis & The News, Jack Johnson, New Kids on the Block, Taylor Swift, just general happy songs that will not allow you to be in a bad mood when you're listening to them. Unfortunately, it's losing its effectiveness which has lead me to turn to my guns.

I've built up quite an arsenal over recent months. I currently keep 4 firearms in my cubicle. They all four have very different purposes. The Tommy Gun is used for an all-out brawl among many people. The double-barreled shotgun is mainly used for intimidation purposes as it can only fire two cartridges at a time and is a pain in the butt to cock and reload. The revolver is useful in the heat of the moment. But my prized weapon is my rapid fire rifle.


This is the BuzzBee Toys Ruff Stuff Rapid Fire Tek rifle. It has a 6-round magazine that holds 6 darts in 6 shells. It's has lever action and ejects the empty shells to clear the barrel for the next shot. Cool, isn't it? It provides me great stress relief to not only fire this baby, but it gives me some sort of peace to load the clip and click it into place on the gun. Fortunately...

This resides on the wall between myself and Grib. However, even with all of these preventative and reactive measures to try to keep my sanity, I still lose it sometimes. I promise you'll hear about it soon.

Tessa's return to blogging

Ok...so I haven't blogged in well over a year. Since I have an inherent need to say what's on my mind, and I don't get to spend much time with my husband and therefore don't want to waste what precious little time we have together with my just spouting off random crap, I figured I could start dumping my intellectual dribble here. Plus, I gripe to him way too much about life and he deserves better than that.

Now, that being said, don't expect very frequent updates. I'm usually quite busy doing the full time school/ full time work thing, but there will be times when I just need to take a cerebral crap. When that happens, I'll come here for it. And in case you're wondering where the blog name came from, TLC are now my initials. Cool, huh?

For those of you I haven't been in contact with for a while, in case you're unaware, I've now been married (to a spectacular man) for almost 8 months. I'm currently back at Wright State University full time majoring in Integrated Language Arts in order to get into the Teaching Adolescents to Young Adults masters program and subsequently teach high school English. I currently work in tech support at Wright-Patt Air Force Base. I hate it. This will be a subject of which I will likely speak often.

So...I thought I'd give you all an idea of what to expect on this blog. Basically, I'll talk about whatever the hell I feel like talking about when I decide to blog. Many times this will likely be my extremely high level of frustration with my co-worker who shall henceforth be addressed as "Grib." I will often talk about the TV show "Chuck." If you're not watching it, that needs to be changed immediately. At the time of this writing, I am trying really hard to eat right, lose weight, get into shape, be healthy, etc. This will also be something I frequently discuss until I get sick of it, give up, and return my former glory of greasy cheeseburgers, pizza, donuts, and general slothfulness. Given my career goals to enter the education field, I might discuss that every so often. I will likely discuss Johnny Depp when he pops up in the news as he is my secret lover whether he knows it or not. Occasionally my brain likes to venture into deep thought about life, love, and the pursuit of happyness, so that will probably creep up every so often as well. I will also share things that I find funny, like this. Other than that, we'll see what my mind decides to actualize.

I won't be making this here blog private as it is kind of a pain to do so, but I am only telling a select few about it. So if someone else asks for some reason, I have no blog. You saw nothing.